I feel there comes a time when I have to share some well kept trade secrets.
And today I will talk about the magic of programming.
I know there are a lot of newcomers that believe programming to be about learning how to code and practicing what you learn, while others just think it’s some sort of magic incantation that you need to know and recite in a special way to make things work.
I’m finally going to break the silence and make it clear once and for all. If I don’t write that much after this post it’s because I’m running for my life chased by the other programmers that don’t want to let the secret out.
The secret is magic! The spellwork is well hidden in programming books, in tutorials, buried deep in the code and covered by fancy phrases like “Refactoring” or “Code compilation”. All of this is just a charade to make you feel like you don’t understand programming, while everything depends on knowing how to cast the secret spell.
It’s like bodybuilders, we all know they don’t have big muscles because they go to the gym, they only go to the gym to showcase them! They have big muscles because they take steroids and protein powders. And you knew that all the time, that’s why you don’t go to the gym.
And you know how reading official documentation makes you sleepy? It’s because of the protection mechanisms they have in place. It makes you sleepy so you give up and live with the false idea that programming is boring.
That is why you were never able to understand programming, you didn’t know the spells and how to weave them to make your code work!
Ever wonder why not all answers from Stack Overflow work? Some are given by evil wizards that want to confuse newcomers and keep them out of the secret programming coven! Only experienced wizards can combine multiple answers from Stack Overflow and somehome make them work together.
That’s all there is to it, that’s why some people know programming and others don’t. It’s not that some study a lot and practice even more and write pointless code just to see if and how it is working, NO! It’s the magic of the spells! Now you don’t have to spend all that time going through tutorials or even buying courses or, in very extreme cases, buying AND reading books!
Enough is enough, we must stop this nonsense!
And now, I will be busy running for my life from the programming arch-wizards!
If you are not sure if this is a pamphlet, well… It could be… who am I to judge?